There comes a new energy when alcohol, drugs, and porn are not in play. This energy is the answer to the questions I have had: how am I going to do it? How am I going to be everything I want to be? The answer is the energy. The thing I have still found troubling is directing this energy towards the things I need to do to and the things I haven’t even tried yet. I have felt what it is like to have a lot of energy and go down a weird rabbit hole on the internet for hours. I have also felt what it is like to sign up for public speaking, and volunteer to be the first person to do the improv talk. This energy is going somewhere always, and I am always responsible for its use or its waste. I wanted to point out the use of this new energy through new pursuits, relationships, and work can be clunky for me at times. I am accepting that I will fall flat on my butt in my pursuit to be my best.
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