James Bond’s Alcoholism and Low Life Expectancy

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A new lighthearted research study indicates James Bond would have suffered from many alcohol-induced health problems, including hand tremors, and would have died early.

Ever wonder why James Bond always took his martini shaken and not stirred? A new lighthearted research study indicates he would have suffered from many health problems, including hand tremors, and would have died early.

The researchers wrote, “Ideally, vodka martinis should be stirred, not shaken. That Bond would make such an elementary mistake in his preferences seemed incongruous with his otherwise impeccable mastery of culinary etiquette.”

To solve this mystery, researchers read the entire set of 14 books chronicling the secret agent’s fictional life. They found Bond consumed more than 4 times the recommended alcohol limits.

While Bond is praised as being the “best shot in the Secret Service,” the authors say this is impossible since Bond’s level of alcohol consumption would have significantly impaired his ability to perform many of the tasks and missions described.

Besides the risks of cancer, liver disease, and injuries, Bond would have had alcohol-induced brain damage, causing his hands to tremble and preventing him from stirring his martinis.

Bond’s life very much reflects that of the man who created him. A former Naval intelligence operative, Ian Fleming smoked and drank excessively, leading to his death at 56 years old. The researchers said, “We suspect that Bond’s life expectancy would be similar.”

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