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Hello! This is Jenny. It’s a bit sad to say this, but her dad is an alcoholic. But don’t assume that she’s therefore going to talk about domestic violence. She loves her dad; he might just have the sweetest personality of anyone she’s ever known. And maybe that’s the real reason why he drinks. Here’s Jenny’s experience.
Her life was completely normal until she turned 12. Jenny had very loving parents. Her mom was a very energetic woman and her dad was a nice calm guy. She takes more after her mom, and was growing up into an active and optimistic young woman. But one day, everything changed. Jenny’s mom revealed that she had met another man, and she was moving to another city with him. And then it got even worse: “Jenny”, she said, “I have no intention of going to court to make you live with me. I think you’d better stay with your dad – you spend your life here. It would be better for everyone”.
If you think this was horrible enough, Jenny has even more to tell you. She felt so betrayed by her mother, and so indignant. Really, is that the right way to treat your own children? At the same time, she realized that if her mother didn’t want her, then she needed to adjust. This is how she ended up staying with her dad. He was so sad – it must be so unpleasant when a woman you love decides that she doesn’t need you anymore. And so, he started relaxing with a drink or two in the evening. “Sorry, Jenny”, he said, “it just makes me feel better. Do you mind?”
One of her dad’s rare defects was his lack of willpower. Jenny was still very young at the time and didn’t realize this fast enough. When it began to dawn on her that he had a problem, it was too late. Two drinks became four, four became eight, then he fell asleep in the armchair and Jenny had to help him towards the bedroom. He said he felt better, he didn’t feel so useless and lonely. At the time, he seemed to be just one step away from full-blown depression, but Jenny would have preferred it if he had taken some medication rather than drink himself into unconsciousness.
The real tragedy started when he decided that he’d scared Jenny too much at home with his drinking and decided he had better go out to do it instead. The fact is that social alcoholism is the worst. He found some small filthy bars, disgusting pubs, horrible dens, where he would drink with other alcoholics and talk to them about his miserable life. He would cry and ask for forgiveness, and then promise to give it up. But he just couldn’t do it. The problem was that he now spent every evening drinking, and would crawl home rather than walk. Sometimes he came in with bruises. Sometimes, he forgot to come home. In those cases, Jenny would have to take a taxi and do a pub crawl of her own, looking for him. Not a nice environment for a teenage girl. Imagine it – she had to learn how to persuade his buddies to let him go home, and she sometimes even had to bring a baseball bat with her to make herself understood. Everyone knew that Jenny was not someone to mess with.
Of course, she tried to keep her spirits up, but it was hard even for a tough person like her. She felt so sad and lonely, and every day those feelings grew. One day, she went into a bar to fetch her dad, and there was an enormous guy who claimed that her dad hadn’t paid. He was nearly senseless. Jenny doesn’t remember exactly how she managed to get out of there, but she brought her dad home feeling absolutely desperate. She didn’t have any hope left, and thought that she was doomed to spend the next few years searching for her drunk dad every night. It was a dead end. The next day she wanted to tell her dad that she had to leave him and go to her mom, or elsewhere – she just couldn’t take it anymore. She was crying, and her dad was looking at her with a horrified expression on his face – he had never seen her cry. This was the turning point, when he realized that he couldn’t do it anymore – to himself, but above all to his daughter. It was the first time she saw that her dad had willpower after all. The same day he went to his first AA session. The next day was Jenny’s 15th birthday, and she decided to stay with her dad for some time to see if he could remain sober.
It turned out that life is beautiful even without drinking. He repeats this every day, and constantly apologizes for those hellish three years. But Jenny’s not offended, because she managed to learn a useful lesson even from that horror. Now, she’s a wrestler, and quite a talented one – they say that she has the character of a warrior. She knows exactly which bars she got it from. Her dad comes to support her at all her competitions – straight from his AA meetings, absolutely clean. And she now knows that even if the situation is worse than you could ever imagine, there is always hope.
Music by Epidemic Sound: https://www.epidemicsound.com
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